Everything we do as parents affects our children's behavior . This is why it is important for us to advocate true family values , which should not in any way be confused with the political agenda of “ fundamentalists ” to force their morality on the world . True family values are the antithesis of individualism , which can only harm any and all communal relationships we try to build .
When individualism is prevalent selfishness supersedes all else , as ideals surrounding any form of social group begin to decay . The groups themselves may continue to exist , but only as shells of what they are supposed to be . They become dysfunctional collections of individuals , rather than synergetic wholes . The group must be an extension of the self , not a contradistinction of it .
Parents today often embrace the egotism of “ parental instincts ” , thinking that everything we need to know about raising a child is ingrained within us . This may work for animals , but they do not have the complex emotions and great amount of needs and desires we humans have . Parenting is a journey of discovery that comes with learning all that we need to know to help raise our children from those who have already experienced this . You only need the humility to admit that you don't know everything and are willing to learn or do whatever it takes to meet your obligations as a parent . At one time , before the invention of mass media , this was one of the purposes of tribes.
In a tribe , parents could share the time - tested techniques that would insure their success in raising their sons and daughters . Without that personal connection to community so many are left searching for answers in the dark , hoping they can find the right path for their family . Others simply go through the motions and hope for the best .
Dysfunctional families have become the norm in our society , just over the last twenty years . This is unacceptable . Although we will not judge those who have no choice but to live in such conditions , it is important for us to work towards a higher standard , where families have both a mother and a father figure in a healthy , loving environment . For those who live in broken homes or unhealthy environments , it is your job to break the cycle when it comes time to have your own family . Again , individualism is to blame for the lack of strong , functional family units in our lands , for one cannot create a wholesome social structure if their own interests come first . And herein lies the problem : Mom may scream all the time because her emotions and how she expresses them are more important than the impact this may have on her children ; Dad may drink a lot because his indulgences must come before a secure , harmonious home for the entire family . Some will even keep their children dependent on them because of their wants and needs .
When we become parents we are no longer the Self ” , we have become part of something bigger than this , which should come with the realization that we do not come first ! Do not think , either , that is it is too late to deal with any negative circumstances infecting your home life . It is never too late to deal with problems , even if they are long - standing , you only need to first recognize if and when there is one , then have the courage to handle it . This can be hard for many ; because they feel that if they admit there is a problem they are failures as parents .
What's funny is that when you do admit this , and work to fix it this is the very thing that high lights your success !
You can't sweep negativity under a rug and expect it to go away , your problems can accumulate until they blow up in your face . You have to be proactive in finding appropriate solutions for whatever troubles come at you . This is the hallmark of successful familial relationships.
Painting:Hans Schmitz-Wiedenbrück, Familienbild, 1939. Photo © German Art Gallery, The Netherlands.